Monday, March 27, 2006

hello 2006!!


downtown
Originally uploaded by heathero.
i am so so very happy with 2006 so far this year!! i was really quite happy to say good bye to 2005 and welcome 2006 and it has been a fantastic year so far!! i had incredible adventures and moments in south america in january and i think that set the pace for a fantastic beginning to a incredible year so far! i have truely begun to let go of the life i thought i wanted to find the life that was waiting for me... and it is better than i ever thought it could be!!!!

Friday, December 30, 2005

been gone so long

sorry i've been away so long...

2005. come and gone...

overall it was a good year. a little bit of a tough year too. not for any real reason... but i've learned and am learning a lot. learning how to grow up. how to live days that do not feel ideal and just right and perfect. learning that it is ok to feel lost sometimes and discheveled and a bit like swiss cheese. its ok. and that feels good to say.

its ok not to have it all together and figured out... that is the best adventure, right?? not knowing what will happen, but living through the uncertainity knowing that it will be ok on the other side. that faithm that it will eventually be ok, is important... important because otherwise we stop moving and get stuck and frozen and afraid that if we keep going things will not get better. so we stop working through things and try to just numb ourselves so that we can try to feel better... but really that does not work does it?

so i look forward to 2006. i look forward to leaving 2005 behind and moving forward. with no idea of what the future will deliver... but ready to let the adventure unfold...

more to come in 2006!~ i promise! and i have a new camera too!!

happy new year!! happy following your dreams and living the adventure!!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

itsthe end of august already

its the end of august already and i can't even believe it...
this summer has flown by and i want it to slow down... on my recent trips over the last few weeks i was starting to feel really alone and just funny... and i am sort of in a time of questions right now...
in my pursuit of "doing nothing", just relaxing... and letting go, i have dealing with lots of stuff. its as if now that i'm not overwhelmed with work and stuff things have begin to surface. i am thinking too much probably and now my challenge is this...
i have been realizing that life is never going to be all neatly packaged and perfect. it may never even be exactly right. i will proabably never feel perfect and all aranged and that is ok. i want to be ok with a life that isn't perfect and just right. and i want to enjoy all the moments. all the moments of feeling in between and not excatly right and just let them go and move on...
i read this today...
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
"We must trust the changes that happen in our lives. We must let go."
and that is my new challenge. i have nothing to hold me back anymore. nothing to blame for life not being just as i think it should be... no exhausting job, nothing holding me back or putting me somewhere i don't want to be... and what do i know about how life should be anyway?? i want to let go of that idea that i have, that idea that i had at 16 and 18 and just accept what comes to me... i believe that it will be better than i imagined...
so my challenge is to let go, and to trust. trust that good things will happen. trust that good things are happening right now, even if i don't see them.and stop worrying... stop trying to control. my life does not rest only on my shoulders, i am not alone... i want to let go... and to trust.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

sunset beach


sunset beach terrace
Originally uploaded by heathero.

another fabulous discovery... took the car ferry to this little island. we were just driving the winding roads, water often on both sides of the road, trees surrounding you and then opening up to the sea... it felt so amazing to be there...
and then we found sunset beach, and it has a feeling that i can't quite explain... what is it? maybe its the randomness of it all... you are in the middle of what feels like no where and you stumble upon something that feels like a long kept secret. you know you will return, but will it still be there? will it be a part of your imagination, a nice dream? a place that doesn't feel entirely real and allows you to just be... its nice to know that those places exist.


to say that i i am enjoying this fabulous summertime is an understatement, like saying that i like ice cream... this time feels like a precious gift; i am so thankful and just do not want to waste it...
just like life.
i want to truly live everyday, becoming closer and closer to the person that i was meant to be... living with conviction and peace and love in my heart... and giving myself time to do that. giving myself time to reflect and be inspired... i love my life!!!

"Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it." -Soren Kierkegaard

Friday, July 08, 2005

tomato


tomato
Originally uploaded by heathero.
summer is here in full effect and i am loving every day of being
here and having this time to relax, think, explore, and just take
care of myself...

i ate my first ripe tomato, summer's gift to the patient gardener,
and every bite was delicious... every bite screamed summer and i
realized that nothing tastes quite so delicious as a tomato you you
see begin as a flower, develop into something the size of a tiny
green pea, and then, under my daily inspection, form into something
so vastly different from the winter balls of red styrofoam that we
purchase in the store... something closer to a strawberry than to
the grocery store winter fruit that we call a tomato...

went canoeing on day during the weekend, and took a trip to the
beach in queens on tuesday... i am delighted to know there is such
a nice beach so close to my home... i plan to return often this
summer...


the end of the school year was rough but if these days are my reward
then it was all worth it... i've only been out 9 days and already i
feel miles away from the negativity...thankfully... :)

i hope that you are well and happy, feeling the sun on your skin and
eating good food...

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. -Buddha

Sunday, July 03, 2005

summer is here!!


hot summer day
Originally uploaded by heathero.

after a l o n g new york winter and a v e r y l o n g school year, summer is finally here and i am loving every minute of it... even this minute where i am feeling a bit stuffed up and drousy. i am embracing it all! the first offical weekend of my summer off. i realized that this is the first time in who knows how long that i have decided to just stay put for a bit... no big travel plans, no heavy work or school schedules, just plans to take it easy for a while. i want to read and relax and garden and create... make time to photograph, write, go to the beach, try to surf, garden, sew, adventure in and around this great city where i live, and take naps whenever i want to. no rushing around, no hurrying through things... it sounds almost too good to be true! and hopefully i will be able to do it and not begin to fill up my time with "business"...

i do think that can be a challenge sometimes, to just be and not try to overdo and over stretch oneself. i know thats hard for me, as i often overcommitt and stay entirely too "busy".... and i see it all over this city and our society as a whole... people rushing form here to there, not taking the time to ask themsleves why? why do we rush so, race around, staying so busy?? i think its rather healthy to take a pause sometimes and just be still... and this is what i plan on doing...

"Doing nothing is easier said than done." Raymond Devos

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

inside


inside
Originally uploaded by heathero.
today is the last day of school. this school with a playground that looks like a prision. the last day of shut up and i'll slap you and all those other words that make me cringe that roll off young tounges that feel no consequences of their words. they speak in a way so that others will hurt maybe just a little like they do... the last day of the subway in the early morning and days that all look the same...

will i remember what i have learned? i have given so much and now where am i left? who am i know, how have i changed? the hardest part of being in this place, the place with the playground that looks like a prision, is that you want to do so much and help so much and give so much and you do, and then you ask, does it even matter? am i blowing into the wind? will it even make the smallest difference to anyone? and then someone stops you to speak and you realize that yes, it mattered to them. you read a note from a student and you realize that yes, it mattered to her...